


Words don't come easy

by xllama



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Hugging, Hugs, M/M, Overprotective, Overprotective Derek Hale, Panic Attacks, Post-Nogitsune, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Slash, Stiles Stilinski Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Stiles Stilinski Has Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25290790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xllama/pseuds/xllama
Summary: Derek knows something is not right as soon as he enters the school grounds. He can feel not only by smelling the overwhelming mix of emotions, mostly fear, but he can also feel it deep, deep down in his bones. It’s that strong.If you asked Derek how many times he felt that kind of feeling, he’d probably say he doesn’t remember. That’s a lie number one. Even though Derek isn’t the lying type.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 4
Kudos: 172





	Words don't come easy

Derek knows something is not right as soon as he enters the school grounds. He can feel not only by smelling the overwhelming mix of emotions, mostly fear, but he can also feel it deep, deep down in his bones. It’s that strong.

If you asked Derek how many times he felt that kind of feeling, he’d probably say he doesn’t remember. That’s a lie number one. Even though Derek isn’t the lying type.

Secretly he could admit that he felt it plenty of times. Always experienced it himself. Most recently was when everything went straight to shit with nogitsune. The thought of losing another and another friend terrifies him so that was like a nightmare come true. Losing Allison was a punch to his throat even though they never were that close. It just felt like they were finally a pack and he was losing a sister. That’s not how it should be, that’s not how it usually goes, but that’s how it went and that’s how he feels about it.

Losing Stiles however, was a different horrifying thought that he tries not to think about, but recently he had to. Too many times. And if Derek was honest about it – that was the last time he felt this kind of fear in his bones. The cold, almost freezing type. And now he can _smell_ it.

So he runs, he runs to the source, because _what the hell?_ – he thinks. – _what is happening now?_ , and _oh god I want to rest_. He’s tired deeply. He’s the most tired werewolf in the US and he just wants to nap all day and don’t do anything. Maybe pack cuddles would be nice. But not another catastrophe.

The smell led to the empty bathroom stall, and it reeked. If he didn’t smell a hint of Stiles in all this he’d probably call a teacher to deal with this, but _come on it’s him_

_You can do this._

_You won’t hurt him any more than this._

He can hear his breathing and _oh god is he suffocating?_ So he does what Derek feels would be appropriate and

knocks

With no response. Unsurprisingly.

Derek never was great with words. He’s a man of action, not a man of words. He shows love and compassion through actions, sometimes through a quality time. But words? That’s what Stiles needs right now and that’s not his best quality. He’s gonna fail, he’s gonna make things worse and fuck up like everything he tries to touch and he can’t do this he needs to call Scott, he..

“Derek?”

How did he know that it’s him? That’s something Derek would ask himself later, tucked in his bed thinking about all this. Right now he can only focus on his broken voice, on the rapid breathing. He has to do something. So he says;

“I need you to open the door. Like right now. I promise you’re not dying but you might faint and that’s gonna make this harder”

“I know I’m not dying” - came a response, trough short breaths. – “But it’s back and it wants all of you.”

Theoretically that’s impossible, but Stiles is not driven by logic right now. Hell, Derek isn’t either, so he does everything that Derek typically doesn’t and

panics.

A little. Only a little deep, deep down. He doesn’t want to say goodbye to anyone of their little pack. They can’t risk Stiles’ life again. This is ridiculous. Get it together Derek, he needs you. The real you, not overwhelmed by smell of fear.

“Stiles, open the door and we’ll figure this out” – he said it almost at the same time when Stiles actually opened the door.

“I’m… I’m.. sorry” – Stiles said visibly catching his breath. Unsuccessfully.

“Okay Stiles, I’m gonna touch you right now. I’m gonna take your hand and put it on my chest so we can breathe together, okay?” – said Derek without any Derek-like harshness. Only words said softly left his mouth.

“No! No! Please don’t! I’m gonna kill you! He’s gonna kill you!”

“Stiles, what makes you think that? It’s gone. Nogitsune is gone, everything is over. Please, look” – he said very quickly as he showed him both of his hands – “count them. Count the fingers. It’s not a dream. You’re real, you’re here.” – said as Stiles counted the fingers. – “you are the real you. And I’m me. Nothing is going to hurt you anymore”

Stiles gave his hand.

Derek’s veins turned into black.

Derek said nothing, just took his hand and placed it over his chest. Exaggerated breaths came out of his chest.

“That’s right Stiles. In” – he said as he held his hand and still was taking his pain out. – “and out. That’s right buddy, I got you now, you got nothing to worry about.” He said that but he wasn’t sure about that. The pain.. was cold. Cold as ice. Why is Stiles in pain? Was he always in pain during panic attacks? And why didn’t he know?

Stiles however looked like he wanted to cry. But he didn’t. He was just gently breathing now, looking into Derek’s eyes with his own that were watering. Hand still on Derek’s chest. He looked like he didn’t believe what’s happening. Finally, he took his hand back, only to place it on Derek’s shoulder and with one quick move he closed the distance between them.

A hug.

That’s something Derek haven’t experienced in a long, long time. It felt secure. It felt like nothing is gonna happen anymore, like the time stopped. It was warm. Finally something was warm. Warm and wet, because Stiles’ tears finally spilled. Not much though, only a little. Derek, a man of action, didn’t know what to do. Powerless. That what he felt most of the time but not in that weird way. So he decided to place his hands on the boy’s back and

hug him back.

Someone could find that pathetic – two men hugging on a dirty bathroom floor. Derek would find that pathetic if it weren’t him right now. But the truth be told – it was warm. It was nice. It was everything either of them didn’t get in a long time. God damn he almost lost the guy. He fought tooth and nail to keep him alive and god, maybe it was a wrong idea, maybe it fucked them both up, but maybe, just maybe it was worth it. Maybe it was worth it just for that one hug. Maybe they took the right route, maybe it was all planned out that way. That they couldn’t just win without victims. And no matter who would die, it would all hurt the same.

Stiles was the one who initiated the hug and he was the one who stopped it. Derek put his hands on Stiles’ cheeks and asked

“are you sure you are alright?”

“Yeah. Now.. yeah.” He answered, voice small.

“You’re not going back to class, you know that?”

“Yeah I kinda thought I’d go home and lie down a bit. Who would guess that panic attacks are so tiring am I right?” he chuckled without feeling.

“Your dad is not home. You’re going back to my place”, Derek said and he meant it. He couldn’t just leave him alone, not like this. – “Oh and I’m driving”

He fully expected a protest. Definitely not an “okay” he got in exchange. He took Stiles arm and guided him up. Stiles’ knees buckled under him a little, but he was able to walk. _God he was so cold_.

Derek didn’t let go of his arm.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't let ourselves be consumed by the grammar and spelling errors. This is not my first language, but it is my heart written onto this page. I hope you enjoyed it. :)


End file.
